This Little Piggy Went To Market (During His Lunch Break)

In our lifetimes we have been both consumers and producers, but never at the same time.  That is, unless you shop for clothes online during work hours or——like most corporate types— conduct business via Blackberry during family dinners. 

 

On some levels, it is easy to reconcile the two roles: members of the workforce can produce from 9-to-5 on Monday-thru-Friday, and purchase their food/house/life supplies from shift-managed stores throughout the evenings and weekends.  But what happens when this salaried, 5-day-a-weeker desires a product or service that is only sold during his business hours?  He ditches work to take care of his schtuff…that’s what. 

 

            So where is the line drawn?  To what extent should self-preservation come to mind during a paid grind?  By now, like with all other aspects of office courtesy, an unwritten book of guidelines has been long unpublished on the subject.  There are several types of during-work errands that an understanding boss would find acceptable, mine included, and the appropriate time off for each is directly related to the criteria it fulfills. 

 

            One important criterion should be of course, that the errand can ONLY be completed during work hours.  This generally includes anything postal, medical, or financial; sometimes it’s all three. 

 

              Beyond this, the breadth of errands allowed depends entirely on a given work environment.  If one is fortunate enough to leave an office where “every minute counts” for a more liberal group, they’ll see that “grooming” and “automobile”-related tasks are the first to become OK again.  Approval of the former is perhaps influenced by a famously versatile quote fragment, “the clothes/hair/shoes/nails/toenails/moustache makes the man/woman”.  When a boss is more concerned with the quality and appearance of employee time, he or she will know that Saturday is simply too late to hit the salon.  Likewise, the de-clawing aspect of a manicure can be an asset to the work week, because it encourages good, painless handshakes (and we know how important handshakes are).  At DailyMe, my boss actually gave me the name of a trendy hair-cuttery (the ensuing adventure is a whole ‘nother story). 

 

            On the other hand, I have not yet experienced car-maintenance errands …but I already know why they’re so effective.  Do you really know what’s underneath the hood of your car?  How about the cars of your employees?  And are you willing to wager money on the length of time it takes to get the “free” carwash at the dealership?  If the answer to all of these questions is no, then you should also see the light.  Few people know enough about automobiles to question an employee getting one fixed, which makes this excuse an excellent “wild card”.  No matter what the occasion, just tell your boss there is something wrong with the “carburetor-doodad-combobulator” for a get-out-of-jail-free card.  Until abused excessively, this system is widely accepted in most offices across America.  Just don’t try it if your boss is an auto mechanic. 

 

            This is not to say that trips to Target and Office Depot cannot be taken periodically.  DM does not mind day-trips to nearby retailers, presuming the employee says the secret password: “do any of you need something from there?” 

 

            The moral of the story is that everyone has to put their personal needs before their work sometimes.  A sympathetic boss will always understand, especially when the time you do spend at your desk is valuable.  A happy employee pays his dues, but also enjoys clean sideburns and a fine-sounding engine.  Too bad I can’t grow sideburns yet. 

 

Peace, Love, and Personalized Media.

 

-John the Intern

 

www.dailyme.com